Monday, December 29, 2008

an awesomely bad 2009


For each of the last few years I've tried to find a silly wall calendar for my office. Two years ago it was Extraordinary Chickens. This year my calendar featured a cat named Yoshi who dressed up like 12 famous women in history (proceeds went to animal advocacy groups). But this year, I'm looking for something...well, badder. So far I've had little luck in finding the perfectly bad calendar. I want something cheesy but also cool. Here are a few ideas; let me know what you think! Also feel free to send in others if you have any.


Who can resist yoga dogs? Yoga dogs' fecal matter photographed in pleasant settings? Equally enticing.


Gnomes hold a special place in my heart. So do grown men dressed like them.


I'm not sure what a "tactical girl" is, but on the off chance that the fatigue-covered boobs and machine guns get boring, you can always try out Bobcat drill machines.


Not just any Elvis calendar; it's the TV Guide Elvis calendar, fool! Or, you could have goats. Your choice.


I'm posting this with a program on the history and science of lust in the background, so I figured I'd throw these hunky calendars in there. The boys down under and, um, some very large dudes are at your service.


Crazy nuns!!! Cheesy cubicle design ideas!!! Woo!!!


Last but not least, I bring you...rodents! In one corner, we have silly costumed ferrets pretending they're movie stars. In the other corner, we have...the scourge of...oh, fine, they're cute. (Although I couldn't help but squirm looking at April: One of the rats is hanging out on a loaf of bread in someone's kitchen. Ew.)

Update: And the winner is...a very cute calendar of donkeys! I am trying to ignore the title, because it is crude and mean. Poor donkeys.

4 comments:

  1. But where's the Extra-extra-EXTRA Large man calendar?

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  2. This comment is merely a time check, to be followed by an actual comment.

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  3. OK, here's the crazy thing: You posted this 10:05 pm last night. Do you know what I was doing at about 9:50 last night? I was in Barnes & Noble buying.....the Extraordinary Chickens calendar!!!! We are connected, you and I. Well, you've laid out an excellent batch of possibilities. I like odd ones that don't draw too much attention to their oddness (not crazy about the word "Extraordinary"), so of yours, I'd go with Goats or Rats. I was not thrilled with my Edward Gorey this year--no real plot, and even if there was, hard to remember a month later. In previous years I've had: tractors, dime-novel covers (one was too racy for the office and i censored with a Post-It note), NYC firefighters (was very confident in my masculinity that year, i suppose), etc.

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  4. Haha, yes, there needs to be XXXL or even X^4-L. And yes, Jack, I think tractors are a fine idea. Maybe I'll make a trip to see what's left over at BN this evening.

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